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They'll be
seen in the grocery store buying "Caviar Helper."
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You'll find
them on their hands and knees on the floor of their Rolls Royce
looking around for loose change to put in the parking meter.
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They will be
forced to buy an indifferent year of Chateau Latour (probably
the '87).
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The men will
be reduced to keeping one forty-two year old mistress instead of
two twenty-one year olds.
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No more
thousand dollar tips to pretty waitresses. From now on they'll
have to be content with 15% on the amount of the food bill
before tax.
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Their
daughters will have to live with last year's nose.
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They'll sneak
their own snacks into the movies.
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They'll have
to change the name of the yacht from the "Stinkin'
Rich" to the "Comfortably Well Off".
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They'll also
have to stop christening boats with champagne. From now on
they'll have to throw a cardboard box of wine at the side.
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They'll start
seriously collecting "Club Z" points.
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The maid is
going to actually have to do some cleaning, rather than just
running around the house in those little outfits.
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They'll have
to rent their racehorses out on weekends to give rides at
children's birthday parties.
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They'll have
to dig up the helicopter pad at the cottage and plant vegetables
in its place.
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The older
multi-millionaires will have to see the movies on Tuesday
afternoons when they can get the seniors' discount.
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They'll have
to buy two-ply toilet paper instead of using fine Irish linen.
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The dogs will
have to get used to eating stewing beef instead of sirloin.
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Instead of
$100 bills, they'll start lighting cigars with tens.
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Unable to
afford their own subscriptions, they'll have to read newspapers
at their Club and magazines at their broker's office.
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They'll always
say no when the guy at the counter at McDonalds asks if they
want to "supersize" it.
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They will no
longer be able to buy politicians, but will have to time-share
them.
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From now on,
when European nobility drops by for lunch they'll have to bring
the potato salad.
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When anyone
asks, the Lear Jet is always "in the shop".
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They'll have
to stop buying premium gas for the Bentley.
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Instead of a
cruise around the world, they'll have to settle for a day trip
to the Buffalo outlet malls.
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Two words:
Leftover pheasant.