October 1, 1999
I hesitate to comment on what goes on in Quebec, but every
once in a while it just gets to be too much. And as soon as I
point out something, I get a stack of mail from separatists about
how what goes on in that part of my country is none of my business.
I even got a rather rude letter in French saying that I was
another reason why Quebec should separate.
Cripes - I can't even get those door to door natural gas salesmen
to go away. I didn't think I could send a whole province packing.
So I'm going to have to watch what I say.
But when I read that Citizen Bouchard is still going on about
creating "winning conditions" for a referendum, it's
time to call a spade a freaking shovel. You'd think he already
had enough on his hands running Quebec's economy into the ground
and honking off the nursing profession and various unions.
Of course it's the old "Hey, look over there!" school
of political survival. You keep afloat as long as you can distract
people from what a crummy job you are doing as a government.
So Bouchard keeps talking about creating winning conditions for
another referendum. He has already said he'll keep having them
until he wins.
Coincidentally, I just got back from Las Vegas. Of course
there they let me keep rolling the dice until I won. I told them
I was playing by Canadian separatist rules. Losing never counts,
and the game's over when I win.
Forget the fact that almost 70% of Quebecers oppose another
referendum on separation. Like all of us, they're sick of it.
But Bouchard, the Great Democrat, has decided that those 70%
of Quebecers do not know what is best for them, although I doubt
there is a single person in Quebec who hasn't heard his message
paid for with your tax dollars.
So to create "winning conditions" the PQ wants to
educate the people of Quebec, and tell them what a bad deal they
get from the rest of Canada. You know, how you and I and the
rest of English Canada spend every waking hour thinking up new
ways to humiliate them.
Like making Quebec accept billions of dollars more in tax
revenue than we collect from them. Or by having French Canadians
repeatedly serve as Prime Ministers, Supreme Court Justices and
Quebec was apparently "embarrassed" at a recent
visit to the Spanish region of Catalonia. You see, Catalonia
has a state song, but Quebec doesn't. I suppose Bouchard had
to walk down the red carpet to Celine Dion singing that Titanic
Any way you look at it, it was just another slap in the face,
and that's not just whistling Dixie, if you'll pardon the expression.
How can they hold their heads up among those other bastions of
Francophonie, superpowers like Rwanda and Algeria?
Of course, the National Anthem for all Canada was originally
written for Quebec's St. Jean Baptiste Day by Calixa Lavallee
and Adolphe Basile-Routhier. But when we adopted it for all of
Canada, we didn't do it to show our love and appreciation for
Quebec. According to a PQ official, we "stole" it from
This is the kind of thing Bouchard hopes to twist into "winning
conditions" for a referendum as unwelcome as Marilyn Manson
at a church picnic. He wants to tie himself to Confederation's
railway tracks and plead for Quebecers to save him.
The problem with the PQ is they wouldn't know the truth if
it was served to them covered in poutine.
Or worse they know the truth, but couldn't care less,
because they know in their heart of hearts that speaking the
truth will not lead to "winning conditions".