The Supreme Court of Canada has gone
into the travel agency business catering to a very exclusive
clientele. It has made Canada the destination of choice for the
Last week the Supremes unanimously decided
that the Government of Canada cannot deport people wanted for
murder in other countries if they could face the death penalty
for their crimes. It ruled it would be inhumane and contrary
to justice for these naughty visitors to our shores to be sent
back to face the ultimate music.
Of course this gets us into the whole
death penalty debate. I'm not sure where I stand on the whole
question. I think I'm generally against it, then along comes
a Bernardo and the rule book goes out the window faster than
a chocolate cake at a Jenny Craig meeting.
The older I get the more certain I am
that there are some people who would be greatly improved by being
dead. I'm not about to shed a lot of tears for someone like Charles
Ng who was finally sent back to California after seven years
here, to be sentenced to death for torturing and killing six
men, three women and two children.
No doubt he was misunderstood as a child,
or not breastfed or something mitigating. After all, as they
say your Honour, it was a first offence.
On the other hand, you have a few trigger-happy
places like Texas, where they don't seem to have any trouble
applying the death penalty to children and the mentally handicapped.
A fast fair trial and a hanging immediately afterwards. Probably
the only place in the world where the last meal is Cap'n Crunch
and the condemned is allowed to bring one Beanie Baby to the
Plus there's that pesky fact that countries
everywhere have been convicting and executing the wrong people
for quite some time.
And that's why our Supreme Court doesn't
want us sending anyone anywhere they could end up taking a ride
on old Sparky. Any country who wants to try a murderer hiding
out in Canada now has to promise that if convicted, they won't
be end up a Texas barbeque.
If they won't promise to let the accused
rot in jail instead, we just won't let the murderers out to play.
So there. We'll just keep those (alleged) killers in Canada until
those less enlightened countries see the error of their ways.
Wait a minute - I think there may be
a problem here. Maybe the Supreme Court hasn't really thought
this through. What if a Ted Bundy shows up here and the people
looking for him won't promise to let him off with just forty-three
consecutive life sentences? Are we supposed to keep him? Can
we hold him without trial, especially if he hasn't done anything
What about Nazi war criminals? I guess
we're stuck with them too.
Since we're rolling out the red carpet,
maybe what we have to do is build a condo for them next to the
Supreme Court in Ottawa. That way our new guests can rub elbows
with the Supremes and pop over whenever they need a cup of sugar
or box of bullets.
And by the way, they prefer not to be
called murderers - they prefer the politically correct term "homicidally